A brief morning break-time chat with a colleague this week has sparked off a series of questions in my mind about kindness and empathy in children. My colleague mentioned that he felt our students think with their heads and not their hearts, something which really stopped me in my tracks. In the week some examples of bullying had surfaced and I’d just, while on this same break duty, listened horrified to a Grade 2 child gleefully describing the way his older brother loved to torment cats by swinging them round and round! My colleague's observation seemed disturbingly spot on!
What has gone wrong? We are a school which promotes pluralism, is dedicated to nurturing ethical leaders and actively explores the IB Learner Profile attributes across the curriculum. Visitors to the school often comment on the warm feeling in the school, expressing how the students come across as extremely kind and friendly and that there is a definite atmosphere of respect and care between and among staff and students. But how deep does this go? Are students really able to transfer their learnings into real life and critically analyse the behaviour of themselves and that of others? Are the adults in our setting equipped to nurture this vital understanding in their wards?
I began wondering whether the problem stems from the way that society places more emphasis on children demonstrating academic ability than social skills. I also wondered whether there is a prevailing notion that children are inherently selfish and need correcting and socialising by older members of their society. The ‘survival of the fittest’ concept derived from Darwin’s observations of the natural world (and not actually coined by himself at all) seems to have become a convenient evolutionary rationale for a society obsessed with individual success. Do parents and schools build a competitive spirit in children from such an early age that it overrides a child’s other more social instincts? Much less well-known are Darwin’s theories about sympathy as a crucial part of animal survival (The Descent of Man, 1871, and Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals, 1872). He posits that “those communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.” (1871, p. 72). He holds that sympathy is instinctual in the animal world but this goes against the generally-held view of sympathy being a social construct.
If we can begin to believe that young humans are naturally caring towards others it might radically change the whole approach to educating our little ones. We could begin by adjusting our thinking away from 'survival of the fittest' towards ‘survival of the kindest’ and emphasise this above all else in our classrooms. Is it time to value affective behaviours over cognitive behaviours? Certainly, if we are going to hand much more agency over to our students, we must ensure that they understand the potential impact their actions and words can have on the feelings of others and this is something for which they are responsible. If young learners are indeed equipped with caring instincts, then we as educators must acknowledge our role in ensuring we model the right behaviours and create the right environments to nurture this kindness and sympathy.
Since the inception of our school seven years ago we have not included any form of competition in the curriculum except for sports. We actively promote the IB Learner Profile and PYP attributes and have various systems in place which encourage kindness. Students and their parents regularly share examples of self-initiated action arising from their learning. However, I feel that our next step of exploring student voice, choice and ownership must develop from the central tenets of collective kindness, empathy for others and conscious reflection on the effects of our actions. We have begun the journey but clearly have far to go. We may need to take a number of steps backwards before we proceed further.
What has gone wrong? We are a school which promotes pluralism, is dedicated to nurturing ethical leaders and actively explores the IB Learner Profile attributes across the curriculum. Visitors to the school often comment on the warm feeling in the school, expressing how the students come across as extremely kind and friendly and that there is a definite atmosphere of respect and care between and among staff and students. But how deep does this go? Are students really able to transfer their learnings into real life and critically analyse the behaviour of themselves and that of others? Are the adults in our setting equipped to nurture this vital understanding in their wards?
I began wondering whether the problem stems from the way that society places more emphasis on children demonstrating academic ability than social skills. I also wondered whether there is a prevailing notion that children are inherently selfish and need correcting and socialising by older members of their society. The ‘survival of the fittest’ concept derived from Darwin’s observations of the natural world (and not actually coined by himself at all) seems to have become a convenient evolutionary rationale for a society obsessed with individual success. Do parents and schools build a competitive spirit in children from such an early age that it overrides a child’s other more social instincts? Much less well-known are Darwin’s theories about sympathy as a crucial part of animal survival (The Descent of Man, 1871, and Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals, 1872). He posits that “those communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.” (1871, p. 72). He holds that sympathy is instinctual in the animal world but this goes against the generally-held view of sympathy being a social construct.
If we can begin to believe that young humans are naturally caring towards others it might radically change the whole approach to educating our little ones. We could begin by adjusting our thinking away from 'survival of the fittest' towards ‘survival of the kindest’ and emphasise this above all else in our classrooms. Is it time to value affective behaviours over cognitive behaviours? Certainly, if we are going to hand much more agency over to our students, we must ensure that they understand the potential impact their actions and words can have on the feelings of others and this is something for which they are responsible. If young learners are indeed equipped with caring instincts, then we as educators must acknowledge our role in ensuring we model the right behaviours and create the right environments to nurture this kindness and sympathy.
Since the inception of our school seven years ago we have not included any form of competition in the curriculum except for sports. We actively promote the IB Learner Profile and PYP attributes and have various systems in place which encourage kindness. Students and their parents regularly share examples of self-initiated action arising from their learning. However, I feel that our next step of exploring student voice, choice and ownership must develop from the central tenets of collective kindness, empathy for others and conscious reflection on the effects of our actions. We have begun the journey but clearly have far to go. We may need to take a number of steps backwards before we proceed further.
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